In both the manosphere and real life, I've heard of men trying desperately to sleep with a waitress they met at a restaurant or bar. I've worked in the service industry for several years, so for those who you who want to sleep with the waitress who served you a burger or rum and Coke, here's my advice on how to sleep with them:
Get a job as a server, bartender, barback, host, or busser, and hook up with girl(s) you work with.
No, seriously. If you are a customer, you have no chance of sleeping with a female server or bartender.
Yes, the cute, young, blonde server or bartender may be giving you so-called "indications of interest," but these are almost certainly false and meant to encourage you to tip more. The average restaurant or bar, after 9:00, is filled with couples and a 5:1 single male to female ratio. The women who serve you food and drink flirt with you, yes, but they do so in order to turn a 15% tip into a 50% tip.
In my years in the restaurant/bar industry, I have never once met a female bartender or server who has slept with a customer. But, I've known dozens who have slept with their coworkers
Yes, what I'm saying is that even though your cute server may act flirty with you, once you tab out and leave her $10 on a $20 tab, she'll end up going home with the 16 year old busboy before she goes home with you.
I've also noticed that male servers and bartenders are much more likely to sleep with customers. I remember at one place I worked, the managers assigned a male to work cocktail on a weekend night. He ended up netting several numbers. Most male servers and (especially) bartenders I've known have slept with customers, but as I've mentioned, I've never met a female server or bartender who has. When female servers get numbers on credit card receipts, they pocket the tip and throw away the number, but if a guy gets a nice tip and number from a cute girl, he will keep both.
So, wannabe PUAs, if you want to add a waitress to your belt notch count, instead of wasting money at a bar and tipping your waitress 50%+ in hopes that she will reward you with a number, get a job at a bar or restaurant. You'll end up having a lot more success.
The key universal here is "intimacy of contact". This generalization takes your observation and applies it across all sectors. You could also think of "intimacy of contact" as predicated on long-term interactions. i.e. go to places where you can interact with girls for extended time sequences. working together is obviously one such scenario, but a poor one overall, because girls also seek status, and working together means you are not higher status, by definition.
ReplyDeleteI'm not applying it across all sectors... just women who work at restaurants and bars.
ReplyDeleteI'm well aware of the fact that girls seek status, but in my experience (yes, my evidence is anecdotal, but I've worked in the restaurant industry for enough time in enough positions that you could probably consider me an "expert witness" in the industry), most women in the service industry go home with their coworkers much more quickly than they do their customers. The fact is, when female servers/bartenders/hostesses, give guys so-called IOIs, most of the time they are false IOIs intended to milk guys out of their money in the form of tips.
Once again, I know this is anecdotal, but I've never worked with a female server or bartender who has gone home with a customer (excluding customers who are also their boyfriends or fuck buddies). But I've lost count of the number of female servers/bartenders who have gone home with their coworkers. I have, shall we say, personal experience in this manner.
over a year absence and no explanation?
ReplyDeleteYeah, pretty much. Although it's been more like two years of absence. I kind of lost my interest in blogging in July 2010.
ReplyDeleteI can't tell you how many guys I've gone out with for a night on the town, and they all say something like, "that waitress kinda smiled at me! That must meant she wants me!" Morons! These gals have dozens upon dozens of men a week begging for them. However, in my experience, 100% of the female servers I've had over the years all had husbands/fiancees/boyfriends already, so even if a dude were really tall and good looking (the only kind that can nab a hot server) and got a job at a restaurant/bar, the girls already have somebody.
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